I've been thinking about doing this post for a while and tonight it seems like I am going to finally make it.
You see, there are several things that I really need to do around our house, like cleaning the garage, mowing the yard, putting some clips on the cabinet doors, finish up the trim around the light in our bathroom, paint the mailbox, weed the flowerbeds, and probably a host of other things that I cannot thing about.
My issue is trying to balance time with Reed and Abbey and getting the things I need to do around the house. Most of the things that I need to do, need to be done during daylight, while Reed is awake.
Ultimately, I have got to mow the yard and that one is not the biggest issue. I have generally take time that maybe I wouldn't be around him anyway to take care of the yard, like skipping choir practice to mow the yard.
My issue lies in figuring out when I am supposed to do those things like cleaning out the garage that has been in need of cleaning since we moved into this house back in November.
Or the mailbox that is supposed to be glossy black iron, but is now faded gray from the sun. (yes, I know that sentence is a fragment.)
I work flex hours so that I am able to get off work at 3:00 and am usually home by 3:45. That gives me about 4 hours and 15 minutes until Reed generally goes to bed.
I would love to hear from some Dad's out there, but I am sure that this post may strike some of you work-outside-the-home moms. How do you balance the things that you NEED to do with spending time with your kiddos?
Especially if you kiddo is as cute as ours!
7 comments:
Well, my Jeff just asked me if I thought I neighbors would mind if he mowed the yard at 5 a.m. I gave him the big thumbs down, but hey, if you can talk Abbey into, go for it. (Are there too many commas in that sentence? That's a question for Candace :)
I read your post and was thinking "I feel the exact same way". I'm not sure I do balance the priorities. I just take everything one moment at a time. Then, suddenly, I find time to do one or two of those "things" you mentioned. (cleaning the garage comes to mind) But really, they take a back seat to life and spending time with my family... and our new addition hasn't even arrived yet. I can only imagine how little time I'll have then. (I'm TaiwanLucy's daddy, BTW)
Ahhh balance?? Ya I'm so with ya there! I work 40hrs a week and my hours are nuts! The only day I see Kobi (all day is Sunday/ Monday) and its hard b/c you just want more. During the weekdays I spend as much time with Kobi as possible so I don't start projects until the night time when he's asleep. (So generally I start mowing my grass at 8PM, stain playsets that have yet to be built at midnight and get about 6 hrs of sleep before I have to wake up at 7 be out the door with Kobi at 8:20 drop him off at school at 8:40 giving myself 20 min to get to work then hubby takes over and does the whole "pick-up" process, cook dinner and tubby time. Its exhausting! However there's that 1 day a week that Matt and I don't get out of bed so early and we both can play with Kobi (before work) and feel like weve spent time as a family. Ahhh Thursdays... LOL! I swear having just 1 weekday were you don't think about working until after lunch is just so nice. We turn off our phones:)
Woo I've rambled! Can't wait to hear what everyone else does. I've got my paper and pen handy. LOL!
You just do what you have to do. Don't sweat it too much. I doubt Reed will ever feel slighted by you!! There may be some days you don't get to spend as much time with him as you'd like, but there are other days that will make up for it. Bottom line is don't beat yourself up.
JW
I have a slightly different perspective...I think. When I was working full-time, I thought that coming home and playing with the kids until they went to bed was what I needed to do to "make up" for the time I'd been at work. As a result, by the time 8 rolled around and they were in bed, I was too tired to even think about cleaning or whatever project. My house became a pig sty, nothing was ever clean, I always had about four loads worth of dirty laundry. I'd spend my entire weekend catching up and I was miserable...it was not working that way.
Now, we incoporate the kids into our household responsibilities. We think it's important for C and P to see us taking care of household chores and responsibilities and more important that they participate, even from an early age...that there is time to play and goof off and there's time for the family to work to make the household run and that takes everyone working together. Another thing that we believe in is teaching our kids to play by themselves. Caroline has rest time for 2 hours in the afternoon. She can do whatever she wants for 2hours, but she has to do it in her bed. She loads it up with books and toys, and you can hear her in there reading and playing. Sometimes she falls asleep.
I realize Caroline is almost 3 and can do a lot, though. She waters flowers, picks weeds. If I grab my vacuum, she grabs her little play one and follows right behind me. Same with the broom and mop. She LOVES to pull up a chair to stand on and help me cook. The only thing counterproductive is folding clothes. As far as Parker goes, he crawls along right beside us in whatever it is we're doing or we drag his bouncy seat out and put him in the shade if we're outside.
When it comes to personal projects, like my sewing, I do that on Friday nights. Sometimes, I do with Caroline around...hoping that she'll be interested enough to want to learn one day!
I know I wrote a novel, but I wanted to add that between working part time now and incorporating the kids into the household resonsibilities, our house is so much cleaner now. It's such a better environment in which to live...Brad and I aren't stressed out all the time because the house is not a wreck all the time, and the kids aren't growing up in a super-cluttered house.
I struggle with this, too. I figure if I get one or two projects done a week (mow lawn, clean out something, etc.) I have accomplished enough and don't sweat the rest. It bugs me far less than it would have pre-child! :) Some things I do after Holly is in bed or at nap time (spraying weeds, mowing). Some I can get done with her playing next to me (pruning bushes). Don't feel guilty for not spending enough time with Reed. Quality over quantity sometimes needs to be our motto, ya know? I think he gets both quality AND quantity with you! :)
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